• Sipster Team

5 Types of People You Meet at Happy Hours.

At leadership summits, corporate retreats, and networking events all across the country, the fastest way to make an impression—and a surefire way to hold your own at the conference happy hour—is to identify with an archetype and proudly yammer on about how it meshes perfectly with your unique quirks.

You may decide you’re an Enneagram believer, a DISC acolyte or more of a Myers-Briggs type, but in the end, not choosing a team just shows a lack of initiative. So, for the sake of conversation, you pick your poison. We at SIP decided that the astrology of the business world could use one more alternative for those who prefer aperitifs over pseudoscience, so we offer you the 5 People You Meet at Happy Hour.

The Leader

The Leader is the backbone of the Happy Hour Squad: they speak crazy plans into existence and everyone finds themselves on board whether they like it or not (think Michael Scott). You can count on this person to have plans ready a week in advance, but continuously surprise the group with strange locales that nobody has ever heard of but usually turn out to be a good time...usually. True to form, there’s always something different in their glass, but watch out—they may order another round while you’re taking one last bathroom break. Drink every time they say “So where are we going next week?” or “Have you heard of this place called…”

The Drama Queen

The Drama Queen in any Happy Hour Squad may be content to live vicariously through someone else’s drama, or they may harbor a deep desire to be at the center of it. Like Titus Andromedon, this person is here to see what goes down—or step in to make sure that something does. Red wine (“crying juice”) is their drink of choice, and they always want to go somewhere with a great atmosphere, you know, a great backdrop for a scene: like a rooftop. You can count on them to make slightly-too-loud comments about the group next to you, the bartender, whoever crosses their path, but watch out...just watch out. If they say “hold my drink,” you better take a sip.

Party Mom

Like Liz Lemon or Kermit the Frog, Party Mom is always deep-sighing about something and yet still here for the shenanigans, though they’re not sure why. (Hint: it’s because they cherish these times together and don’t want to miss a thing.) This person will drink one glass of the house white wine, and there’s one place they always want to go: home. You can count on Party Mom to clean up any and every mess, from asking for a bar rag when something spills to apologizing profusely to the strangers next to you. The most exciting thing this person will do at happy hour makes a Very Important Announcement. Every time they say “...the things I do for you” under their breath, take a drink.

The Devil’s Advocate

This person was definitely a talk show host in another life: they give off a Seth Myers vibe at best, Rush Limbaugh at worst, but most fall somewhere around Andy Rooney. This person orders a 7 and 7 because it sounds logical to them and they like numbers, but they never finish it because they are so busy talking. They always want to go somewhere they “can hear themselves think.” You can count on them to keep the conversation going, though it may be one-sided, but watch out—they may scare away newcomers. Drink every time they say, “well, actually…” and drink twice when they add “but what about…”

The Wallflower

You might think this person was an actual painting of the Mona Lisa, except that they giggle silently every now and then to indicate that they are indeed listening and somehow still enjoying themselves despite not participating in any capacity. (Take a drink every time they do this.) You can count on them to listen to your darkest secrets and never tell a soul. But watch out, they might sneak up on you without meaning to! The Wallflower will have whatever you’re having, and they never have an opinion on where to go but keep showing up regardless.

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